Thursday, April 18, 2013


I was looking through my box of old kid papers and found the below chart. I'd actually never laid eyes on it before (my parents gave me a pile of stuff and I threw it in a box). I'm freaked out by it but kind of feel guilty at the same time. 1) What kind of child was I? 2) What kind of adult am I now? 

Am I not accomplishing enough? I'm feeling guilty because I have SO much to do right now and instead I've been on some sort of marathon TV binge. You know how it is once you get into one of those cable TV shows... they suck you in. I may also get like that when I'm a bit overwhelmed by things. I check out.  I find comfort fake realities, where everyone's problems are larger than life. 

But I had a chart for exercise! And this was when I was probably about 10 or so. I know I was in elementary school because this was in preparation for the physical fitness test. I always had to do  exceedingly well at all of those things or I'd beat myself up about it. There were so many things that I wanted to do with my 10 year old self. I wanted to be published. I wanted to win races. I wanted to start a band and record songs (I still have mixed tapes of my attempts). I even made a dance music video to Milli Vanilli! Remember them? Eek.  I also have my invitation that I sent around the neighborhood for a haunted house that I constructed in the basement. I was constantly trying to make money and I'd wrangle others into my schemes. I tried lemonade sales... I made craft objects... I wanted to sell my art... What would I think of my grown up self? I'm not rolling in money. Would I shake my head in shame? I'm not in the Olympics, either, as I'd once dreamed. I'm also not posting fitness charts on my wall and now I'm watching marathon TV shows and not getting dressed until 5pm. I'm starting to think I need to take a little inspiration from the childhood me. Meghan: get your act together! Get dressed! Make a fitness chart! Turn off the TV! 

Enough said. 

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